Friday, October 10, 2014

Baby is here!




I'm finally getting around to writing down my "birth story."
I ended up being induced. I decided that I didn't want to go far past my due date so I was scheduled for induction September 17th at 5:30 AM.
I think I slept all of 2 hours the night before. I couldn't help it. I was so nervous and excited. I was nervous about how the induction process went.. I had no idea what was going to happen and I really wanted a vaginal delivery. I was excited to meet this person that I had carried for 9 long months. I was anxious to see what he looked like and I was excited to snuggle him.
I got up about 30 minutes before our alarm went off. I got up, got dressed and put some makeup on. I woke up Kendall and we were ready to go.
We checked in at the hospital and were immediately taken to a laboring suite. The first nurse I had was switching out at 7:00 but she was pleasant. Notice I said pleasant. She was not super warm and bubbly and excited. However, I understood that she had been working all night and she was pretty pregnant herself. The nurse I had when they switched was awesome. She was a little bit older but she was very nice.
My plan was to have a natural birth. No epidural.
When they started pitocin and my contractions were being registered on the machine I was feeling good. I really couldn't feel the contractions all I felt was some pressure. I can't remember when they started pitocin but it was the first thing they did. I thought to myself "yeah I can do this! I can have a natural birth!"
Eventually they had to break my water- around 9:45 AM. Which to my surprise didn't hurt, but they also had to put internal monitors on the baby so that was uncomfortable..
Right after they broke my water I felt the contractions and they were horrendous. I have the upmost respect for people who can handle a natural birth. The contractions were terrible and I had to yell and scream through each one. I don't know why I put makeup on that morning because it was all on my pillow from writhing around in pain. I had to get the epidural, which is terrifying by the way. They had also given me nubane which made me absolutely loopy. I had to get out of bed for them to set up for my epidural and my knees were giving out. Kendall basically had to hold me up. After I had gotten the epidural I laid down and actually took a 30ish minute nap.. until I was rudely awakened by a searing pain in my left hip. It was terrible, I was screaming and crying. They checked me and I was dilated to 9! It was almost time to push! Next thing I  know they were bringing in the table with equipment and my doctor had shown up. She told me to start pushing when I felt ready. The way you feel contractions when you're ready to push is so difficult to describe.. it's an insane amount of pressure, you literally have to push. So I started pushing. The baby was low from the time we got there so he was already very low. Every time I was pushing I thought it'd be the last one but it wasn't. I was extremely hot, had a blood pressure cuff on, and an oxygen mask. I was exhausted and in an insane amount of pain. I was feeling annoyed and hopeless. I literally felt like he was never going to come out. Kendall started off on the left side of me, holding my hand. He eventually switched places with his mom who was down by the doctor. As soon as Kendall was beside the doctor he was crying. After each set of pushes I would cry out "I can't do it! He's not coming!" and everyone would reassure me that he was "right there." I ended up calling Kendall a liar, almost said the F-word, and I snapped at everyone when they were trying to make a joke. Labor isn't called fun for a reason... its WORK! I finally was so tired that I stopped holding my legs and put my hands behind my head to bear down and push..this must've been the golden ticket because I think after 3 more pushes he was finally out. Overall I had pushed for an hour and five minutes but trust me it felt like I had been pushing for an eternity. Seeing your baby for the first time is an amazing experience. I knew I loved him but I was so out of it. He didn't cry as soon as he was out and that worried me. They placed him on my chest and literally I think all I did was rub him and say "I thought you weren't going to come out." Kendall cut his cord and they took him to wipe him off. Then I had to deliver all the "extras." If you don't know what I'm talking about message me or something and I'll explain.
He was born at 4:21 pm and weighed 7.7 lbs and was 19 inches. After our family had seen him and it was just him and I was when it truly hit me. He was my baby. He was the one I was waiting to meet and he was gorgeous. I just kept stroking his cheek and whispered how much I loved him. This completely innocent and teeny tiny baby wrapped up was mine and he was perfect. That's when my tears came. From that moment my heart was so full I couldn't imagine what life would be like without him. Isn't that crazy?!
There was so much love that day, from my family, from friends, the nurses. It was all perfect and beautiful.

Here's some pictures from a hospital shoot with Lil'bit of Heart Photography (:




























     

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Pregnancy and an ED

Okay, so the title may be a little misleading. I once had an ED. I believe that I will always be in the mindset of an ED even though I might not be starving myself... I use to obsess over my weight and how my body looks. I know what you're thinking. Every girl/woman obsesses over body image. Well, not to the extent that I did. BDD is a real thing. People could tell me they noticed I was losing weight or that they thought I looked good and it didn't matter. I didn't feel good about myself. That's a summarized version of an ED without the gory details (puking, your hair falling out, etc.)

So, since I've been pregnant the whole weight thing has been hard. I know that I'm supposed to gain weight. But that doesn't mean its an easy pill to swallow. Every time I go see my doctor and I look at the scale I say to myself, "really?" and I wonder how long it will take me to lose that weight. I know other people have lost the weight but what if I can't. What do I do? These are the things I'm left wondering at the end of the day and that's sad.

Being okay with gaining weight will never happen for me. The fact that I'm not fitting into prepregnancy clothes scares me. I am proud to say that I have eaten, all meals. I refuse to punish my child because I have a problem. Because I have a twisted reality. That isn't his fault. I have to put myself aside and do what's right for my baby.

First lesson as a parent: check.

Until next time.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Pregnancy Week 20 & catch up.

Well, here's the few weeks that I didn't post. There wasn't really anything super noteworthy about those weeks so ehh. I was lazy and didn't post them. I'm pregnant alright!!


 

 

So there's those.. and here's a really crazy picture of where the baby was balled up in my belly. It was crazy! I had gotten up to go potty and came back to lay down to this..


Okay so now on to this week!



  • How far along?: 20 weeks.
  • Milestones: had an u/s today and everything looked perfect & baby is still a boy (:
  • Baby is the size of a: banana
  • Total weight gain/loss: 17 lbs gained
  • The Bump: is here
  • Symptoms: None besides my crazy back pain
  • Food Cravings: fresh fruit & panera mac & cheese
  • Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: eating too much or not enough
  • Sleep: I sleep through the night, but once I wake up for any reason...I'm half asleep for the rest of the time.
  • What I miss: Not missing anything currently.
  • Weddings Rings On or Off: On
  • Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yep!
  • Gender: BOY
  • Movement: This guy is moving ALL THE TIME
  • Maternity Clothes: a few tops and pants
  • Labor Signs: N/A
  • Best Moment of the Week: Daddy got to feel a kick.
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to: ehhh not much honestly...
 Just look how handsome he is already. Be still, my heart <3


Until next time.
 



Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Pregnancy week 15 & Gender Reveal!




  • How far along?: 15 weeks!
  • Milestones: we know gender!
  • Baby is the size of a: p e a r 
  • Total weight gain/loss: 5+
  • The Bump: There's definitely a bump!
  • Symptoms: I'm feeling pretty good these days
  • Food Cravings: fresh fruit & panera mac & cheese
  • Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: eating too much
  • Sleep: I sleep through the night, but once I wake up for any reason...I'm half asleep for the rest of the time.
  • What I miss: Not missing anything currently.
  • Weddings Rings On or Off: On
  • Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yep!
  • Gender: BOY
  • Movement: I feel like I might have felt a flutter...but I don't know.
  • Maternity Clothes: I have a pair of jeans and a top
  • Labor Signs: N/A
  • Best Moment of the Week: finding out what baby clark is!
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to: shopping (:
 

SO! Because I am crazy impatient I talked my mom into buying us a gender determination ultrasound. I was super nervous all day. When we got there we had almost the whole family there. It was PACKED. We went back to the room for the appointment and the tech took some pictures and everybody chatted about what they thought the baby was. Baby was being really difficult at first. Not in the correct position, then crossing it's legs. I was getting worried that we wouldn't find out what baby was. As soon as my friends and family finished tallying their votes the tech had found what she was looking for. We learned that we will be having a baby boy join our family in September. My stepmom had bought babys first outfit as a surprise!






 
Can't wait for baby to be here. I love you so much already.

Until next time.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Pregnancy Week 14

  • How far along?: 14 weeks!
  • Milestones: 
  • Baby is the size of a: l e m o n
  • Total weight gain/loss: none
  • The Bump: There's definitely a bump!
  • Symptoms: I'm feeling pretty good these days
  • Food Cravings: fresh fruit & panera mac & cheese
  • Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: Nothing recently, I'll just feel sick randomly.
  • Sleep: I sleep through the night, but once I wake up for any reason...I'm half asleep for the rest of the time.
  • What I miss: Not missing anything currently.
  • Weddings Rings On or Off: On
  • Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yep!
  • Gender: Don't know
  • Movement: Besides what I've seen on a monitor, nothing.
  • Maternity Clothes: I have a pair of jeans and a top
  • Labor Signs: N/A
  • Best Moment of the Week: went to another appointment with my momma. We also went to panera after & I made an appointment for a gender determination ultrasound.
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to: MONDAY 31 WE WILL KNOW WHAT GENDER BABY CLARK IS!!



Until next time.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Pregnancy Week 13


  • How far along?: 13 weeks!
  • Milestones: We are in the second trimester! Baby Clark now has fingerprints!
  • Baby is the size of a: p e a c h 
  • Total weight gain/loss: none
  • The Bump: Okay, now I'm thinking this might be a bump. Tummy is definitely harder than before
  • Symptoms: Still have some acne issues, still tired, and have had some chest pains?
  • Food Cravings: None recently
  • Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: Kendall's driving..seriously every time I'm in his car and he's driving I feel sick.
  • Sleep: I sleep through the night, but once I wake up for any reason...I'm half asleep for the rest of the time.
  • What I miss: Not missing anything currently.
  • Weddings Rings On or Off: On
  • Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yep!
  • Gender: Don't know
  • Movement: Besides what I've seen on a monitor, nothing.
  • Maternity Clothes: I have a pair of jeans and a top
  • Labor Signs: N/A
  • Best Moment of the Week: had an ultrascreen test & got a lot of pictures (: ALSO my best friend had her bridal shower which was fun!
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to: my next dr appointment and I want my belly to be bigger!! 
 

Until next time.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Pregnancy Week 12

Okay so actually I'm 12+3 days but I was busy and didn't have enough time to find someone to spray paint my "chalkboard" (I'll explain why that is in quotations..) so I'm posting my week 12 update today. 

I know it looks kind of lame... I was anxious to get it done so the writing isn't as fancy as I would have liked and there aren't really enough decorations on it but it got the job done (: 
When I got home I tweaked it a little bit...
This is a little more fancy. I guess. 


  • How far along?: 12 weeks!
  • Milestones: Baby Clark is developing reflexes and the placenta has fully developed.
  • Baby is the size of a: l i m e
  • Total weight gain/loss: none
  • The Bump: I'm thinking its bloat. My stomach was never really flat but its certainly protruding a little bit. I'd like to say it's a bump. Sadly, I think it's bloat.
  • Symptoms: exhaustion...is that a symptom? acne and bloat
  • Food Cravings:My cravings are very sporadic. Just a few days ago I really wanted a corn dog and crab legs. Sometimes I really really want gushers.
  • Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: Kendall's driving..seriously every time I'm in his car and he's driving I feel sick.
  • Sleep: I sleep through the night, but once I wake up for any reason...I'm half asleep for the rest of the night.
  • What I miss: Angry orchards haaa
  • Weddings Rings On or Off: On
  • Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yep!
  • Gender: Don't know
  • Movement: Besides what I've seen on a monitor nothing.
  • Maternity Clothes: I have a pair of jeans and a top
  • Labor Signs: N/A
  • Best Moment of the Week: going to BINGO with my sister for her 18th birthday (:
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to:  I have an ultrascreen test on Thursday. Just another excuse to see baby!
 Okay now to discuss my chalkboard. I really wanted to do a chalkboard tracker. However, buying a new chalkboard and at the size I wanted one was going to be expensive. My first idea was to go to the thrift store find some big painting and spray paint over it. But with the local lack of thrift stores that was actually more difficult than it was worth. 
SO! I headed into Walmart, picked up a trifold poster and chalkboard spray paint. I cut the two sides off the trifold and painted the middle. Total cost of my "chalkboard?" 7 bucks. It's that easy folks.

Until next time.

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